Part X

Go Ministries was here for a special youth group, and it was amazing! Tarence gave a message about the three levels of passion; love, hate, and indiffernece, and sadly I found that I was indifferent. The word says "I know your works; you are neitherer cold nor hot. Would that you either cold or hot! So because you are lukewarm, and neithere hot nor cold, I will spit (spew) you out of my mouth" Revelation 3:15-16. I realized that is not what I want with my life so I took steps to make a change. I made a promise to myself, Go, Megan, and God that I would change. It will be difficult for the devil is after me to steal, kill, and destroy, but I can't let that happen! Never again will I bring myself down! I must push myself to be in the word and reflect on my life to give all the glory to God. Never have I ever thought I would see the day when so many changes in my life would take place. Everywhere I turn are new opportunities and challenges for me to face. I wanted to please everybody. I now realize that is impossible and all I have been doing is wearing myself out. I busy myself. AIt's not healthy thats treu, but I don't know anything else. It's like what we talked about in psychology, set iin our ways. If you only know one way to get from point A to point B you take it even if it is the stupidest, most out of the way route, because that is all you know. Until, that is, someone points out a new, improved rout to you. I'm now being showen I am not in control of my life, but it is God. I am to be used as a light to spread the Good News, not to do my own thing. I fealt things to night that I have never felt, a new chapter in my life is beginning, and it will be good. As long as I stay focoused on what God wants for me and this life that he has so graciously given me. I must praise and give thanks with my whole heart! I must surrender all. I am growing and most diffinetly changin in my faith. On this journey I will need support and friends to keep me on track. Never let me fall, nver let me falter. I have spent so much time being the one to listen and try to fix other's problems that I have never learned to open up to other people on my own yet. I can't expect you to help me if I can't open myself up to you. It's just not fair. I have forever felt like a bruned to others and never thought it was possible for me to change another person's life. I have forever waited those words, to come from someone's mouth, but I now realized I have been loved. "Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfector of our faith, wo for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God" Hebrews 12:2. Jesus took my sin and carried it with Joy. He LOVED me so much he died FOR ME. That is what I call true love! That is a love our flesh can never give. Galations 5 talks about the works of the blesh being evident (16-26). These include idolatry, jealousy, and envy; all which I shall be convicted of. God does not allow us to do these things when we live in the spirit. I ALLOW these things when I turn from God and decide to live in the flesh insted of under the protective unbrella of God. As Pastor Doung said, "when we sew to the flesh we reap corruption, like road kill and death. I don't want that in my life, I long for the fruits of the spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfullness, gentleness, and self-control (Galations 5:22-23). There is no law against the fruit of the Spirit, and for this we should rejoice. To gain these fruits we must crucify our flesh of its passions and desires (Galations 5:24) which can be a hard decision for some and others can decide withing a blink of an eye. The indifference stage of passion which I was in made that decision to be pushed to the back of my mind, never to be thought of. Thish new stage of love forces me to decide here and now to, in the words of Casing Crowns, "set me free and take it all away." I give it all to God, he knew me before I was formed. WE HAVE A RACE TO RUN, A FIGHT TO BE FOUGHT, AND A KINGDOM TO BUILD, all in God's honor and glory. "Moreover, look for able men from all people, men who fear God, who are trustworty and hate a bribe, and place such men over the people as cheifs..." (Exodus 18:21). He is looking for peopl to fight the battle, for a generation who shall not be silenced! Galations 5:16 (ESV) says, "But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh." We must all walk in faith and in the light, because I don't want to walk in the balley of the shadow of death. We must praise and dance as if there is no tomorrow. We don't know when the end is comming, but it is soon. We mush make vessels for God's work to be compleated. Take it to heart, you are influencing people if you know it or not. I've learned the hard way, so I BEG you, learn from my mistakes. You are loved, never forget that. There is a purpose and a plan for you life. It's up to you to figure out how God will use you in the great scheme of the world and in this battle for greatness, and the everlasting life of those people you may never meet.